We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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