you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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