WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
