I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
