Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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