He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
