Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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