Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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