I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Shame is for Republicans.
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