You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We are all done wearing pants today
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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