Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
