Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
