His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
