I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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