Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
