Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize