Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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