To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
