Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
