Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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