It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
