watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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