You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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