you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
