Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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