He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
