your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
