ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize