Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Pants are for mortals
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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