I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
