i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
