I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
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Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
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Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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