Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize