Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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