do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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