To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
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It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
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you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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