Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
