if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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