Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
