yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
