it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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