If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
