I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
