I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
