Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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