I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
