It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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