when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
