just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
