I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
