Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
