see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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