apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
