And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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