dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This baby is an asshole
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
